Recently, I ran across some thoughts on anger in the book, The Divine Conspiracy, by Dallas Willard. Here’s part of what he has to say:
The answer to (the) question of why people embrace anger and cultivate it is one we must not miss if we are to understand the ways of the human heart. Anger indulged, instead of simply waved off, always has in it an element of self-righteousness and vanity. Find a person who has embraced anger, and you find a person with a wounded ego….
Only this element of self-righteousness can support me as I retain my anger long after the occasion of it or allow its intensity to heat to the point of totally senseless rage. To rage on I must regard myself as mistreated or as engaged in the rectification of an unbearable wrong, which I all too easily do.
Anger embraced is, accordingly, inherently disintegrative of human personality and life. It does not have to be specifically "acted out" to poison the world…. All our mental and emotional resources are marshaled to nurture and tend the anger, and our body throbs with it. Energy is dedicated to keeping the anger alive: we constantly remind ourselves of how wrongly we have been treated. And when it is allowed to govern our actions, of course, its evil is quickly multiplied in heartrending consequences and in the replication of anger and rage in the hearts and bodies of everyone it touches."
Been there? I have, and it breaks my heart to recall how often I inflicted emotional wounds on those I love as a result. I think we men are especially prone to this sin, and would want to encourage anyone reading this that there is both forgiveness and restoration if we surrender to the Spirit of God. If you realize you need help feel free to contact me or any of the pastors or care group leaders.
The part about my wife getting a new husband? Pat and I were walking and talking a while back (probably over a year ago) and reflecting on things we’d been through, including my sinful anger, when she made the comment, “I feel like I have a new husband.” Talk about amazing grace!
Know a woman who needs a new husband?
by Tim Bowditch
Tim, one of the things I appreciate about your post is the Biblically accurate terminology "sinful anger". It strikes me that this at once distinguishes it from legitimate "righteous anger" (though most often this is not what we are "guilty" of), while at the same time calling it sin, and not some softer euphemism that our culture and flesh are wont to do.
ReplyDeleteThanks.