Desiring Nothing?
I was struck yesterday by a story in the John Eldredge book, Journey of Desire. The author describes a counseling experience, and a client with a serious problem.
Brothers and sisters, desire is terribly important. If any of us can relate even a little to Gary, let us earnestly seek the Lord, before it is too late. Let us ask him to kindle a flame, or at least a small spark that we can work with him to fan into a flame of desire. We must not "check out." We must never stop believing that life is a gift-- an adventure with God and with those we live with and love.
Oh God, put desire deep within us... desire for life, for love, and above all, desire for you...
Initially Gary and Jill had come to me because their marriage had become merely functional. No major issues-- no one was throwing dishes, neither was having an affair. As I realized later, that would have been better, at least a sign of life. Their marriage had all the passion of yesterday's oatmeal. Jill was the one who called because she was afraid that she was losing Gary, that they were "drifting apart." It didn't take long to see why. Gary had checked out. He was still going to work, paying the bills, and cutting the grass, but that was it. There was no emotion, no investment, no reaction to anything. The more vital parts of him were shut down.
I asked if he and I might spend some time just talking about his life. As the weeks rolled by, I learned that he had been a faithful church attender, never missing a Sunday. He served on a committee and offered help to those in need. But obviously, something was missing.
After months of getting nowhere, I asked the obvious: "Gary, why are you a Christian?" He sat in silence for what must have been five minutes. "I don't know. I guess because it's the right thing to do." "Is there anything you're hoping to enjoy as a result of your faith?" "No... not really." "So what is it that you want Gary?" An even longer silence. I waited patiently. "I don't desire anything." Our sessions ended shortly after and I felt bad that I was unable to help him. You cannot help someone who doesn't want a thing. (John Eldredge, The Journey of Desire, Nelson, 2000)
Brothers and sisters, desire is terribly important. If any of us can relate even a little to Gary, let us earnestly seek the Lord, before it is too late. Let us ask him to kindle a flame, or at least a small spark that we can work with him to fan into a flame of desire. We must not "check out." We must never stop believing that life is a gift-- an adventure with God and with those we live with and love.
Oh God, put desire deep within us... desire for life, for love, and above all, desire for you...
Labels: Guest Post, Hope
posted by Petros at
12:05 AM
10 Comments:
The saddest desire of all is to desire nothing. It is desire, I guess,the desire that a Buddhist aims for.
Was it C.S. Lewis tha said "our desires are far too small"?
I want BIG DESIRES! Our desires can never outsize God. I pray with you Tim, for greater desire for God, and all that would make me exceedingly happy in Him.
Sorry Peter, this is you post. I am praying with you Peter, and for the rest of us, that truly our biblical study, and our RMMR reflections and disciplines, and all that we practice would by God's grace grow our desires to a ravenous(?) level.
PETER said...
Thanks Tom! Yes, please do pray with me, and FOR me, that God would fill our hearts with desire-- believers don't have to experience a "mid-life crisis" do we?
And, I pray your lunch with your new "boss" goes well. I'll bet he's more excited than you are about your new, (divinely appointed) employment.
Great to get to know your family a little better yesterday!
I have often had periods of my life without "desire". Or rather a desire for nothing. In retrospect these seasons have grown out of depression, sadness, a grappling with my own mortality, severe loss, heartbreak and other things. Long strange misunderstood providences of God can also, at times, have a crushing effect on our desire. I recently undertook the challenge of beginning to read John Calvin's sermons on Job. Not an easy task, as the only extant copy is written is 16th century English.
Never-the-less, remember Job, a "perfect man", who lost his desire for a season. I have enjoyed reading all of John Eldredge's books. In the final analysis, and in my opinion, while he was very helpful in many ways, there was a part of the "story" that seemed lacking. Peter, you and I are alike in many ways. I sense your comments on lost desire as somewhat biographical. As we pray for renewed desire, we should inquire of God if there is anything lacking in our interpretation of both God himself, that is to say His acting in us and upon us according to His will.(emphasis on His) as well as our understanding of our roles and callings in Providence.(the outworking of His will in time and space). Sometimes answers to desire quenching questions, are not given to us for prolonged periods.(Job) Your and Tom's responses are quite right, we should call upon God for renewed desire for the "right" things. Sometimes, in His wisdom, he leaves us silently to our selves and we find desire for Him amidst the silence. His ways are not our ways, they are past finding out. In the end, remember Job. Is it not God's prerogative to "crush" our desires, leave us seemingly alone for a season, only in His time to give us "renewed desire" after Him. Our God is a "strange lover" but in the end, the only true lover of our souls.
My thoughts......
JR
The verses in Revelation about being hot or cold or lukewarm have been coming to mind lately. Having desires is like the sign of life. If they are "wrong" desires...at least we know what they are and how to deal with them. "Lukewarmness"/pretense/apathy/living a lie/or even doing the "right" things without desire really is nauseating.
"I would that you were hot or cold."
I too want big desires.
JR I haven't talked to you but want you to know you have been in my prayers...
Thank you JR. You are correct in suggesting that there is something of my own experience represented in the story I posted.
Your thoughts are always so well-worth reading, thank for taking the time.
The one who loves us supremely doesn't mind letting us feel the void created when we ourselves begin to get cold-- His ways are perfect wisdom, always meant for our good. Pleasure cannot exist without pain, otherwise we wouldn't know how to describe pleasure-- and there is no pleasure more excellent than loving fellowship with God.
Thank you too Alina! Good reminder... and, it's always nice to see you here.
Amen Peter.
JR
a good word, brother.
thank you.
Taken from The Religious Affections:
"If true religion lies much in the affections, hence we may learn what great cause we have to be ashamed and confounded before God, that we are no more affected with the great things of religion. It appears from what has been said that this arises from our having so little true religion."
"God has given to mankind affections, for the same purpose which he has given all the faculties and principles of the human soul for, viz., that they might be subservient to man's chief end, and the great business for which God has created him, that is, the business of religion. And yet how common is it among mankind, that their affections are much more exercised and engaged in other matters that in religion!"
"How great cause have we therefore to be humbled to the dust that we are no more affected!"
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