"Walk in the Ways of your Heart!"
"Rejoice O young man, in your youth, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth. Walk in the ways of your heart and the sight of your eyes. But know that for all these things God will bring you into judgment." (Ecclesiastes 11:9)
You know what I'm learning as a father? Sanctification cannot be legislated into the life of my children. It's been difficult for Theresa and I to watch our oldest son take the inevitable steps toward independence. When Peter John was little, he was happy batting wiffle balls with an oversized bat, or falling asleep before a Beatrix Potter video, or watching planes come into Chicago's O'Hare Airport in daddy's arms. A promised ride to McDonalds for lunch (along with jumping in those colored balls) was something to look forward to the entire previous day!
Things have changed.
This summer (besides work), it was the beach, Applebee's, and a Fried Chicken Wing Joint down in Beach Haven that was all the rage.
As a man very close to 50, I find myself more suspicious than ever of a world I feel I know less and less. Too often I transfer that suspicion to my son, who seems to enjoy being out and about, engaged in "things of the world." When I let these fears and suspicions (which aren't rational) lay hold on me, I'm always proven wrong. PJ returns home on time, cheerful, and, (I know him well enough to say this), innocent. I then reproach myself for my untrusting heart, feeling foolish that I was very nearly ready to yank the car keys out of his hand, and reprimand him for his sin and guilt.
My son is not "seeking the Lord" with all his heart. He's the first to acknowledge it. The sports, the friends, and the sunny beach-- followed by a bowl of spicy wings afterward-- this has his attention now. And aside from a very short devotional time in the morning, I am not likely to find him meditating on scripture in his room, or praying.
The verse from Ecclesiasties has always intrigued me. "Walk in the ways of your heart and the sight of your eyes." It seems to encourage a carefree, honest, "grab for the gusto" kind of existence. The kind of life my teenage son is living now. One thing I find in this verse is a healthy safeguard against hypocrisy. Enjoy yourself, young man, and do what you like! Don't pretent to be something you're not! But there is a caveat. The last phrase (which seems to support the meaning I have inferred above), is a warning. "But know that for all these things God will bring you into judgment."
I suppose I understand why our 18 year old son prefers frivolous dinner table banter with his friends, and being at the beach more than pondering a portion of holy scripture. He doesn't seem to realize that we live in a fallen world. He hardly notices the suffering all around him.
But God knows how to deepen young men, and we leave it to Him. I suspect difficult circumstances, and assorted sorrows will drive him eventually to seek the Lord more than he does at present. In less than a week he will leave his comfort zone. We're dropping him off at a school near Pittsburgh, in unfamiliar surroundings with 640 other college freshmen, and leaving him there. This begins a new chapter, filled with joys, and hopefully a sufficient dose of sorrow too. In the end, whatever it takes, he must come to know the Lord, and to see all else as child's play.
Sanctification is the work of the Holy Spirit... and only God can do the work of God.
Labels: Change and Growth, christian life, Guest Post, Sanctification
posted by Petros at
12:02 AM
7 Comments:
You are surely speaking a father's (grandfather's) heart here.
For your son it is the beach, the french fries, pretty girls, and hot wings.
We all have a list, don't we, of the things that challenge our affections for Christ?
May God in His faithfulness bring conviction to us and our children, concerning God's holiness, our sin, and Jesus Christ, the all sufficient provision. May we as fathers and mothers find ourselves rejoicing in the new life, the quickening ray that gives new birth to our children
I am reading a sermone by Jonathan Edwards "Safety, Fulness, and Sweet Refreshment in Christ"
I found myself move from trembling to trembling with rejoicing in our great Savior Jesus Christ.
I will be praying for your son each and every time that the Lord brings him to mind.
Thanks for your deep affection, care, and shepherding of your son Peter. It is good to read this post and feel the care of a good father's heart. Clearly you have a mixture of concern and confidence as you view what God has done in PJ and is yet to do.
This--I think--is one of the secrets of good parenting: know where God wants our children to be, do NOT panic if they're not there yet, and mix prayer and words and relationship and love and warning--all things you've been doing--to help them get there.
May grace come to all you love and lead my brother.
Tim
Press on Peter. I know exactly how you feel. A fathers's love for his children often experiences many trials in this fallen world does it not? In the midst of our own longing and praying for our children's sanctification, I have been learning (as I am sure you have as well) that our great heavenly Father is at work to use all this for our own sanctification as well. Let us all be encouraged that God is at work, even when we are not seeing it.
By the way, there is a new book out called "You Are The Treasure That I Seek - But There's a Lot of Cool Stuff Out There, Lord". It deals with idolatry in our lives. Like Tom expressed, we all have our own idolatrous proclivities. Indeed as Calvin observed, the human heart is an idol factory. It's on my upcoming reading list, and thought you might want to pick up a copy for both you and Peter John.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and your heart.
Thank you, brothers. I feel your friendship in what you have written, and I thank God for such wonderful new (and renewed) friends.
Peter, I have had a broken heart on many occasions over my 5 children. 3 of them are following God and regarding the other 2, the jury is still out. I never loose sight of the possibility of the hope that is extended to me and to all of us in the Parable of the Two Sons. One seems to outwardly obey God, the other outwardly rebels....for a season. That season can be extended. It seems to indicate years. God is a prodigal spender on the objects of his love. That is, he lavishes the objects of His affection with prodigal amounts of love. Sometimes God allows us to get our fill of the world in order to be repulsed by it, "come to our senses, and return to the God of our youth. What amazes me is that the Father has an eye out for his own. When by His grace they truely turn to him, He is said to run toward us. At the first sign of true repentance, God runs to us. Let Vanity Fair distract the heart for a season. It is no match for the love of God that runs to embrace me, gives me a new garment, signet ring, and throws a celebratory feast in my honor. So you see,there is great hope for any of our "prodigal sons or daughters".
Also, the evidence points to this Father in the parable as being a good and faithful father.
JR
JR, Thank you for the "eloquium mirabilis." Good words and good thoughts you have written. I have always believed the prodigal son of Luke 15 to be far better off in the end than his brother.
For the record, my son is not what we would consider "prodigal" by today's standards-- but then, I suppose today's standards aren't worth much.
May we all "come to our senses" and run toward the Father.
Ho Peter, I didn't mean to imply about your son. I was more thinking of mine. Although there is always the possibility that one of our sons is the "other brother" spoken of in the parable. Tim Keller's book, "The Prodigal God" was very helpful to me in parenting either of the two sons. For, in the parable, they are both lost. But on the outside, one looked better than the other for a season. Eventually, God has a way of pulling back the veil through the events of life to reveal what was there all along. Crisis' in life don't "create" issues, they "reveal" issues. God is also quintessentially skilled in ordering Providence to reveal the heart. The Greek work which we translate "judgement" is really the word "krisis" or crisis. We are ultimately "judged" by the events of our lives. As fathers, let us pray that in the judgement of Providence, we are all found faithful. God is merciful or we are all without hope.
JR
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